Walk down the street via the complex simplicity that is Richard S. Allen II as he delivers his world experiences in which he lives, through his random beliefs mashed with unorthodox skills of technological writing and vivid color. Its the gift and the curse.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Testing, Testing.... 1 2 3....


Me again, back to share one of my more recent encounters of life that I failed at. I always stress to my friends and loved ones to find the good, and although I failed this test, I am aware that I could have done better and will be better equipped for a similar situation. Hopefully I have engaged you to read on as I take you down the rabbit hole to what I call "The Test."

Its Friday, but not just ANY Friday, Its "PAYDAY" Friday, and boy do I love "PAYDAY." I get a feeling of accomplishment every payday logging into my accounts and pressing the SUBMIT PAYMENT button. To be single and be able to afford my lifestyle and do the things I want to do and rarely have to think of my assets is a worry that I love having. So I'm going, clicking and paying:

Student Loan: Submit
Internet Bill: Submit
Credit Card: Submit
Car Note: Submit
Electrical Bill: Submit
Insurance: Submit

I'm feeling better and better, I began to look up some ideas on ways to better my financial situation, whether or not to cancel my paid off credit card or move money around. I follow that by looking into defensive driving to lower my insurance and even inquire about my Internet bill. With all that going on, I whip out the calculator and do the match....... BLAM!!! *Wacka Flacka Voice* "Still got a whole lotta money, Bitches think I'm funny."

Soon after, I receive a call from a friend asking to borrow some money, *Ashlee Wit 2 E's Voice* IT'S NOTHING. I got you, how much you need!!

RIGHT AFTER that, my mother calls, "You bout to buy some Facebook stock"? I'm like OH YEAH! I dive right back in, Stock portfolio and my Etrade.com get opened, I get to moving some stuff around, looking here, looking their......

*GROWL* my stomach..... Man! its noon already. I decide to go grab something. Step out the building and stand in the wind pondering on where I want to eat. I think to myself, it feels good outside, I'm to walk to bricktown and east. THE TEST BEGINS

There's a 33-36 year old black man in a fitted hat and a black tee, he's groomed for the most part, but you can tell he is working with minimums with a 3-4 year old boy and a stroller. We make eye contact, he exclaims, "What's Up" I acknowledge him and tell him "You got it" and continue forward. He gets my attention again and I stop.

"He man, I'm not trying to bother you or nothing, I was suppose to meet the boys mama down here, but the bus was running late, she ain't answering her phone, I guess she tripping of something"

Asshole Rich Thinks: "What that got to do with me"

He continues: "The bus to get here til five and, well I,m hungry, WE hungry, all I smell is the food and shit, and I'm trying to get the boy a lil burger and a toy." I asked some other guy and he acted like he wanted to spit on me. I just wanted to know if you could help me out." Meanwhile the cute lil boy is bounce on and off the curb.

POP QUIZ HOT SHOT! I reach for my wallet and tell him I ONLY have $1 dollar. He says, no no, I'm not going to take your last dollar, but I insist.

I wish him luck and continue on, but not 50 yards away is a homeless 50 year old black man, torn and tattered clothes, scruffy face, smoking cigarettes. I don't make eye contact, and he continues smoking. Passing Trains.

Now immediately, I think, WELL FUCK, that was a test. As I continue to dwell, I think, damn, I just spent hours upon hours of looking at my finances, yet was only will to share $1. The more I walk and think the more disappointed I am with myself. I now think, well damn, I don't want to walk BACK that way because I don't want to see him again.We are suppose to be better people than that, I'm suppose to be a better person. Yet I failed.

I called my sister, explain the story. She was like, "Yeah, I don't ever give them money, I buy them food." So I'm like YEAH!

Sonic chick: May I help you?
Me: Ummmm, (why do you always say Ummm first??) Let me get a #1 AND Ummmm (SMH) 2 double cheese burgers. And can you put them in a separate bag please!

Yeah, in hind sight, it was the right thing to do, but I didn't feel any better, I still knew I failed and was TRYING to make up for it. But you cant do that. You can't take a test, turn it in, leave, and then run back in and say NO NO NO, wait... I know now! And this is what I was trying to do, I was TRYING to be great, but it was too late.

Walking back, still talking to my sister, I told her that very same thing about test taking, and how I knew the man wasn't going to be there. AND!! DING DING DING!! He wasn't!

So much for that test, I failed AGAIN!! UGH. But I found the good, and the lesson was learned. And because there will be a next time, maybe I will be better prepared. Maybe you have or haven't seen this, but this is another situation that randomly transcribed before my eyes. I failed that one as well.

I have come so far in life, but somethings, I have not come to grasp! Obviously I am willing to bend over backward for the people I know, but what about the people I don't, is it right to ignore them? They say Jesus was able to help the rich and the poor, his friends and enemies, those that loved him and those that hated him. We live in a very selfish world where sometimes, giving is the right thing to do, and you might give, BUT are you giving just to give, or are you giving your all. I think that's a personality trait that we all have to evaluate. 

What did I learn today: Ones success can only be validated if and only if one is willing to share it with a complete stranger. 

I ask you this: How many of you are ready and willing to help a stranger out? If you are, is your effort really kind-hearted?

Just wanted to share..... Thanks for reading
*Nicki Minaj Voice* That's all I have.....

The Man In The Mirror

Howdy Folks

Been a while, just dropping in to spread a little verbage. Its been a roller coaster ride, filled with all the mysteries of the bottomless drops and the mountainous climbs these past months. But before I take my seat on the contraption of life and buckle in for the ride, every morning I begin the day the exact same, rolling out the bed and going straight to the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror. I do this to remember who I am and what I stand for, I do this to make sure I know this is real, that life is happening, right before my eyes. I do this to talk to the one person that really knows me best, that man in the mirror.

The great thing about the man in the mirror is that he knows exactly who I am. He knows exactly what I'm thinking, he knows exactly whats to come next, sometimes even before I do. The man in the mirror is not what the world sees me as, rather the carbon copy of the original document. We all know that you can replicate the original and tweak it to the way you seem fit once you download it. But with that original staring right back at you, you see the truth of being right before your eyes.

Minutes turn to hours, hours to days, and yet I wake up and visit that man in the mirror every morning. With a blank stare, he tells me about myself, without moving his lips. He communicates with me letting me know what's going on for today, and recaps my events of life the previous day. He helps me cope with my pains, and cheers me on with my successes in life.

I have become quite fond of the man in the mirror. Before, I would have my meeting with him, then tweak the document and present it to the world, edited and equipped with all the glitz and glam for the untrained eye to deceive. But as of late though, the world has been able to see behind all the smoke and lights, for the man in the mirror as told me that it was time to be, ME. To be the same person, I was in the mirror outside of it. The man in the mirror as taught me how to be just what he is, a man. Through lessons of love, pain, failure, gain, he has guided me has given me great understanding with every conversation we have. He's really intelligent, if only I listened to him more often ya know!

Love me or hate me, it really doesn't matter, its all the same, for its not up to you to decide how I am to feel about it, and he has told me that things in life are just that, a mystery. It's up to me and the man in the mirror do decipher the mystery, but not to dwell on it.

So in closing, I wanted to just wanted to tell that man in the mirror, Thanks, thanks for being there for me during this crazy ride. The turns are getting less sharp, and I can feel the speed decreasing. Hopefully the end is near. Hopefully!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Tetris (A Game Of Falling Pieces)

Greetings, Howdy, and all that jazz,

Im finally back and ready to write. Its been a long while since Triggerific passed and I just wasn't ready to express myself but now, I think the time has arrived. With that being said, I want to invite you to follow me on a thought provoking piece that I call "Falling Pieces".

Life, such a wonderful thing, it happens right before our very eyes, yet sometimes we miss it, and its not until years later that we truly understand the happens among us on a day to day basis. To me, life is as simple as a game, in fact, when you think about it, life is just like playing the classic game of Tetris. Ha! Yeah I said it, Tetris, the game of "Falling Pieces". Follow me as I attempt to shed some light.

Just as in Tetris, you begin life with a blank slate. Consider your actual day of birth to be your level 000. There are millions of possibilities and endless outcomes to life through, but for me, February 24th, 1983 was the beginning of my game, and I was born with a blank slate. Now just like in Tetris, the game starts and you begin to see "Falling Pieces," and this is realitive to your life, where it REALLY doesn't matter where you put these pieces. As the trickle down, throwing them carelessly to the left, to the right, flipping them upside down, however you feel, because that stage of the game, nothing really matter and it is all fixable. Think of this stage of your life as your adolescent stage in life where you are care free with no responsibilities and MAYBE someone watching you play, co-signing on some, but not all, of your decisions. Because remember, Tetris is a one player game, and no one can live your life for you. (MESSAGE!)

Now in your younger years, or the early levels of the game, you are trying to figure this game (of life/Tetris) out. You are told, these are the things you need to do to succeed in life. This transfers to the notion of Tetris, you soon learn that to proceed and succeed in the game. You must make lines. And you begin to make your lines and take notice do your leveling up. Just as in Tetris you get to level 010 really fast, think of this as being your life in Elementary School. Again, not a care in the world. But now Jr High and High School approach and your pieces start to fall just a little faster, making your once thrown around pieces require more thought and logic.

Now lets just use the levels as a metaphor to age, so you get level 013-018, your teenage years, and decisions are being made, "Who to date", "What to wear", "Where to work" you know the normal dramas of a teen that tend to challenge your life, making the game a tad bit harder to play. But you manage to keep it moving, making lines vanish, all to the hypnotizing trance of the beat. You graduate High School and begin your adult life, Level 018 and beyond, and the game speed up just a little more. Think to yourself, when you were is 5th grade, these words NEVER came out your mouth "Man, that year went by fast". But your senior year in High School, and even your College life, you've probably said that at least two times yearly. (Food for thought).

Now with the metaphor of Life/Tetris laid before you, here is the vital point of it all. Have you ever planned to do something, had EVERYTHING you need to make that dream work, and for some reason, it just didn't pan out? That's because you weren't given the right piece to make your Tetris. We spend endless an amount of time organizing our lives to fit just perfectly, looking for that block shape to appear and begin to trickle down and what happens.....

You get a Damn "L" shape. REALLY all I need is a block and you give me a damn "L". NOW AINT THAT ABOUTA BITCH!

Life throws you wrenches and gives you lemons, but its up to you to depict what you are going to do with those. Some people blame life itself of the random shapes that they don't need at that time, and tend to forget to celebrate when they do get the "zig-zag" at just the right moment for that job they were wanting, or needing, or meeting that special someone. But what we have to realize is that you can't plan life, for it is the most ultimate unknown. Because yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery, we have to learn to live NOW at the moment, thus making today special, for the move you make today can determine your tomorrow.(MESSAGE!)

Yes you can have dreams and goals to get to a certain place in life, however, without knowing the next 5 steps in advance, you can only assume, hope, and dream that you are gifted the right pieces. But more importantly we have to learn to play through those times that we get the wrong piece. In Tetris, there is ALWAYS the chance to correcting that hole you missed in the middle of the game. Say you didn't graduate High School because of a baby, or your whole life you just KNEW you were going to the NFL or NBA and you blow out your knee, well you can keep playing and work to fill that hole, removing it from the game going back to school and getting your GED or helping kids see that they need an option B for that untimely falling piece.That's finding the positive in the midst of all the falling pieces, though it seems bad at first, you can still surpass the unwanted falling piece. (MESSAGE!)

Yet falling pieces can be hard some times and everyone is equip with the strength to seek the positive. As you can just have a bad string of pieced dealt to you. Many people tend to hold the "DOWN" button and stack pieces on pieces until the game is over, or what can be a metaphor for giving up on life, never taking the time to move and work to stay in the game.

My father taught me at a very young age "There is no such thing as can't." It took me 20 years to realize the purpose, but he is 100% right. If you defeat yourself first by saying you "Can't" then you turned this one player game, into a 2 versus 1 game. But if you stay working at it, slowly but surely you see the end result, a high score at a high level, and that's what we strive for in this game. Having success in life is being wealthy, healthy, and to have a long life or leveling up to 090-100 if you will. And I hope playing does grant you this.

So you see, life is just like Tetris, a game of falling pieces. We just have to figure out what you want to do with our falling pieces. Maybe 2012 will deal you the right ones, maybe it won't, the question is........

Are you willing to play the game??? Be great this year! Thanks for reading...........

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

April the Fifth!

Tuesday April 5th, 2011 9:53pm
I will never forget this date. It was just a year ago, I was sitting in my living laughing and cutting up with my boy Mr. Pookey B. We were trying to figure out what we were going to do for his 27th birthday here in Oklahoma.

It funny how things in life happen when you are not around because also on April 5th, owners Michael and Jeanne Davis whelped 4 puppies, 3 females and 1 male. Unknowingly destiny would bring together all that I have dreamed of. A Jack Russell puppy with a black head and the character that would make me laugh and love me just as he knows I would him.

As we fast forward the time, the time of me parting ways with my other puppy and moving to a life of being single, destiny stroke when I least expected it. One day while at work, Miss Warner and Mrs Ryan were both busy hunting the internet for a puppy that I had mentioned that I wanted. Now I wasn't sure I really wanted a puppy, nor did I have the money for a puppy but they both were in the hunt like lions in the wild.

I received two emails back to back of the cutest most mystchievious looking dog EVER and the two of them called to inquire. The offer was too good to be true to get a true, full blood, black and white male Jack without someone wanting an arm and a leg. But it was true, and once I saw him on June 12, 2010, I knew he was going to be that greatest thing over. I coined him the gift and the curse because of his markings, half his face black the other half white.

On Monday June 21st, 2010 was the first time I saw my lil dude. He was milling around the back yard playing with his sisters. I adored him and couldn't wait to get him home. Getting used to the puppy was a bit much but more than worth it. He was trained quickly and learned well in the short amount of time.

I loved him so much because he reminded me of my sisters dog Arrow, and I could not wait for them to meet each other. That was the romp around the house I was waiting to witness, but it never came truth as the day they were to meet, Arrow was hit by a car and pasted away August 28th 2010. Never getting to meet Trigger, making Trigger the constant reminder of the beloved Arrow.

Life sometimes is funny the way you think its suppose to reconnect yet doesn't for the weirdest reasons. We found it odd that they didn't meet. It was a question of Why me? Why now? And I felt so bad for my sister I considered giving her Trigger.

Things happen and you just have to ask WHY? Yet you will never have an understanding. Some of them are hard to grasp, some are easy. But neither answer the question of WHY!

April 4th, 2011 5:00pm
Im talking to my mom and she is telling me how silly I am for wanting to go pick up my dog so I can celebrate his birthday with him at midnight. "Richard do you think he KNOWS its his birthday" she exclaims. She was right, but thats the love you have when you have pets, the are like family or children. But she was right, I could get him the next day and he would be none the wiser.

April 5th 2011 4:30pm
The world links events without your knowing because we dont know the future. As I rush out the office to pick up my lil boy for his birthday, Im trying to think what Im going to do for him. Talking to my mom on my way to get him, we laugh and jest about throwing him a party and how they would be drinking water and spilling it saying, "This one if for the homie Arrow." The conversation shifted to Arrow and how Renee still doesn't go back to that park where he was hit. Its funny, I said "If I lost Trigger, it would suck but I dont think it would be the end of the world." We continue the conversation and my mother tells me to give the birthday boy a kiss for me, as she knows I love my son and am about to give him the world as he knows it.

April 5th 2011 5:20pm
I havent seen Trigger in close to two weeks and as he pops his head out the doggie door, the biggest grin comes on my face. I was so happy to see him and was so happy he had been playing with Target all day. I watch Target and Trigger go at it for a good five minutes. Target chases the ball, Trigger chases Target and repeat. LOL! Its a sight to see. Once both are panting like crazy I grab Triggs and head over to the Lillard's for some playtime with Augustus.

Gus not seeing to many other dogs his having the time of his life as Trigger is doing his best to run with him kicking up and rolling around in all types of dirt. Truly having a great time Im even more please at the celebration thus far. We leave the Lillards and he plops down in the passenger side seat and passes smooth out. I think, "YES, he is have such a good time."

April 5th, 2011 7:00pm
We pull up to my house and I decide, "You know what, we are gonna take you for a walk." I search real quick for his leash and skip it and dart out the door. We walk our usual walk, the neighborhood right beside my complex where all the residents know me and my dog. So much that they think I live in the neighborhood. Down, around the corner and back, we run into a couple and their grandson. Trigger and the child wind each other back up as we laugh and watch them play. The lady tells me how good Trigger is and how well I have trained him. I explain the names, Bo, Arrow, Target and Trigger and the all get a kick out of it. After a while I draw Triggers attention and start walking home as Im getting ready to wash him because is is filthy from playing all day. We approve the corner of the street and Trigger see two kids on the other side of MacArthur........

I blink.

April 5th, 2011 8ish
Im racing down the street. Is this real? "TRIGGER" I yell. The day flashes before my eyes. "PLEASE, DO SOMETHING!!" Motionless, his heart beating, I feel like he is just dazed. "TRIGGER" I run the red light on the way to the vet, it light are off, no one in the parking lot. I whip out in pursue of another. My thigh covered.... I glance down, I ask the question. The question we have no answer for. WHY? 90mph I must have been going, weaving in and out of traffic... I look down, still nothing.....

Reality sets in..... I lost my dog. Exactly 1 year to the day he was born. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.


I say to you Trigger, Daddy loves you. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for allowing me to love unconditionally. Happy Birthday. I hope that this was your greatest day ever, thats all I intended it to be. I curse April 5th. Because April 5th is the day I lost my gift. And that gift was you.

Finally emotions.

April 5th, 2011 8:55pm
I part ways with Trigger. April 5th 2010- April 5th 2011.

Friday, September 10, 2010

When We Crash Into One Another!!

Whats good people,

I wanted to share with you a recent crash I was apart of that gave me an awaking. Life tested me one night last week and I think I failed. There was so much going on that the situation just became hassle. We are given the ideology of what it is to be human, and live this life, but do we understand it when the time is right. Sit back and listen to my story.

Story: Thursday September 2 2010. My lights go out after the heavy storm that hit the metro area and it soon becomes too dark in my apartment. With my phone dying I decided to go to my office, be productive, play on the computer and charge my phone. (random decision 1)

After an hour or two, I began to become weird-ed out being in the office alone and I was hungry. I remembered Jack In The Box on MacArthur and I-40 just opened so I was like "Imma go there have hopefully my lights will be fixed by the time I get back home." (random decision 2)

So I debate on which way is faster and decide that to just go south down MacArthur coming from North West Expressway. (random timing 1)

I get to Jack and wait in line for the long ass line of cars (random timing 2) and finally place my order. Nothing unusual just a normal order and wait time. #GOODERDENABITCH!!(random timing 3).

So I get my food, and homie says he wants to steal my dog, CREEPY. I digress. As I am exiting the parking lot I get flagged down, by a white truck.(random timing 4).



"A CREDIT CARD ANYTHING SIR, I JUST WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY BABIES".... She seemed really honest and desperate, but it was just too much.

Suck in the moment of morality, I just told I was sorry that I couldn't help her, and she said thank you and drove off. Now if i had cash I would have given it to her, but I really don't believe in cash. (I lose it all the time).

And in hind sight I should have at least given her my food, but I was really stuck in the situation. I really don't know if I passed or failed that test. You know?

Its so hard, there are so many dishonest people out there, that you don't know who to trust ever, there are some really good actors, and she may very well have been honest and in need, but if you don't have cash, then you don't have cash.

Her asking me to go to the ATM and/or help pay her bill on my credit card is a bit much, but also an real act of desperation. One would think she would just say, OK thanks and go to the next person.

See, it wasn't was she trying to scam me, it wasn't about the money, it was the time that was gonna be spent, going to the ATM, getting the money giving it to her getting her contact info, trusting in her. It made it all too must to want to help.

We are suppose to trust in people, and help others, but I didn't, I didn't do anything and that's why i feel like i failed. Like i said i could have just given her my food, instead I just drove off. UGH

You help people when you can, and I believe to be a good person, yet still feel like I could for done SOMETHING, she was delivered to me for SOMETHING.

It says he will never put you in a situation that you cant handle. What was I suppose to do with that situation??

Ive been visited by a few people, and i think, i think Ive done the SAME thing every time, hear their story, and DO NOTHING. Have you ever met someone randomly by twist of fate, you crash into them for reasons of the unknown and they know or can relate to you easily. My mom says they are Angels, delivered to us for a purpose.

I believe its a test. And in this case, I think I failed. So maybe this lady that night, was sent to me to open my eyes to what your missing out on, and maybe now you will make it a point to be a witness to others as often as you can, as if, we are all sent to crash into each other at random times, and what we do determines our grade. I was told if that's how I feel, like I genuinely failed, then the best you can do is ask for forgiveness. By doing so, it will show that I may have failed the test, but I do understand the material.

My final thoughts are that we are all here for a purpose, to be a friend, a mate, a companion, a mother, a father, and to help. But we get so caught up in the giant blender of the world that we miss the core ideals of human life. I say that I fail my test the other night, but in return, I am not able to see the big picture, and for that I have to thank that lady I crashed into. I glad she was sent to me. Armed now with a new prospective, I await my next test, when I crash into someone unexpectedly again.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

This Thing Called KARMA

Yo Ho HO and a bottle of rum,

Im back off an extended vacation, and ready to get the thoughts out my head onto something I can revisit. I must apologize to myself first for NOT continuing my writing, it's not an easy task for me, but I think I might finally be equip to write on the fly from my (Steve from Blues Clues Voice) handy dandy cellular device. Don't you just love technology. Any who so yeah, this thing called Karma.

NOW, let me start off by saying I'm not a believer in superstitious occurrences. I was the kid that always stepped on the cracks, the kid that ALWAYS spilt the pole (and laugh to watch people go back to undo my split). So needless to say, I had no idea, and probably not a care in the word for the phenomena knows as Karma.

For those of you that don't know, here is a little Webster action for you:
Main Entry: kar·ma
Pronunciation: \ˈkär-mə also ˈkər-\
Function: noun
The force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.

Long story short, the idea of Karma is "what comes around, goes around" "if you do good things, you get good results," you do bad... Well, yeah, you pick up what I'm putting down.

Seems pretty simple and even ties into "The Golden Rule": Do onto looks as others do onto you. Thats right? RIGHT? I hope so. I digress

2010 has been a year of ups and downs, fun and pain, sorrow and joy, but has been a very unique twist of fate for myself. You see, for the first time in the 27 years on of life, I have actually had the opportunity to experience of what I have put others through. You know when you arguing with someone, and they say, "You just don't understand how that makes me feel," well I actually got the chance to "feel" on more than one occasion. And that shit SUCKS, to finally come to grips, see, and experience what my actions do to people has really been an eye opening experience for me. HA! I laugh in jest because I'm usually the one "opening peoples eyes" but its true, it really has. Being able to take a step from the game and watch from the sideline so something not many of us do, but would be great if we all could. Seeing objectively gives you an edge that no one and take from you, and applying that knowledge once you get back in the game makes you an even stronger player.

So with that said, I just wanted to apologize publicly to the people that I have hurt or betrayed unknowingly due to my selfishness and lack of responsibility, and would also like to thank each and every one of them of allowing me to experience that Karma that is rightfully mine. I can say it has become a true life altering experience that I will cherish.

I close with some creeds that I currently live by, just to share for your entertainment. The first is "every action, has a reaction" and second is "there are two sides to every story, its up to you to find the positive in them." Armed with those thus far, I have had some good times and some bad. While sitting on the sideline I have realized that this thing called Karma just might need to be equipped more than ever before because you know what, I'm just trying to be a good person. My name is Rich.


Monday, May 24, 2010

The Wheels On the Bus!

Hello and Good Day.

Dropping by to shed some words of maybe non-wisdom coming from me, but just some of my twisted and morbid ideas about this thing we call life. Have you ever taken time off just to think about life, the gift of life and all that accompanies it? It sends chills down your arms the deeper you think about it, but that's just to alarm you and bring you back to reality.

You see life can be an as simple of a blank piece of paper. In fact we are all blank pieces of paper. It not until we begin to write, do we start becoming who we want others to read us as. Now you see, I picked, "what we want others to read us as" for a reason. Many people begin to write on their paper and dont like what they see, so, they create the person they want to become. You follow?

Ok so with that said, your paper is read and evaluated, liked and dislike, kept and thrown away, all these things happen across a normal lifespan. Now the tricky part is how do you handle the "negative" parts of your paper's evaluations?

For many, the "negative" replies bring their world to a traumatic holt. Its almost as if people become so shocked about the world not liking them, they shut down and don't want to be apart of it anymore. I've been there, its not a fun place to be, I can assure you that. But I'm here to tell you that there are two sides to everything in life, for everything "negative" there is a "positive". Its up to you to see the "positive" in EVERYTHING you do. I live by that creed, and by being positive and knowing that everything negative can be seen as positive it allows the wheel on my bus to keep going round and round. Lets keep it moving people, if not, life will sure enough pass you by.